Made in the UK

It's gone St George mad. Britain is balmy.

There's not a line to be seen without some reference to the Jubilee, the Olympics, the celebration of our fair and beautiful land and the commemoration of our Queen.

I get that the world has gone red white and blue crazy. I understand that we should celebrate. And I know that one of my earliest memories was the Silver Jubilee street party.

Them were the days...my mum in a pair of flares, my dad with sideburns Wolverine would crave and me and my sis running around with plastic red, white and blue hats on. The street went wild. It was a right royal knees up - it was a street sensation. I think there were even vol-au-vents.

BUT in today's mentalness, enough is enough. There's not a shop window without a union jack flag, there's not an advertising campaign without a reference to the land of hope of glory - even Kingsmill has gone Queensmill.

When did the Jubilee go from being about a right good knees up to an advertiser's dream?

And then there's the fashion. Only today I saw a woman wearing Union Jack leggings - it wasn't pretty. In fact it was down right wrong. I did consider going over to her and pointing out that quirky and wrong are two completely different things; but I didn't instead I just stared. And she had a camel toe. She didn't even have the fashion know-how to wear a long top with leggings.

I mean for the love of the Queen, do you think she would approve of these:

http://www.hiddengarments.cn/index.php/2010/10/union-jack-leggings/

Please please please can we just celebrate with some old fashioned values. A keg of beer, a plastic hat and some cucumber sarnies. A proper shindig.

There is no need to dress head to foot in the Union Jack and drape bunting from your car.

Don't get me wrong, I am excited. But then I will be in Cornwall on a beach bodyboarding in my Union Jack wetsuit.