Listglorious

To do or not to do...that is the question

I write lists. 

The minute I get a bit panicky about what I have to achieve I write a list.

I write lists on a pad next to the fridge. I write lists on the back of receipts and find them weeks later in the back pocket of my jeans (usually washed) and I write lists on my phone and I am the queen of spreadsheets for the ultimate 'everything list'.

I have several of these on my phone currently in use http://iphone.appstorm.net/roundups/productivity-roundups/25-fantastic-to-do-list-apps-for-iphone/ but obviously I also like to back up these apps with the spreadsheet versions.

I have lists on lists. Here is a list of some of my lists:

• Things that need doing in the house list 

Last time anything was ticked off on this list was April 2004.

• Shopping list

Of course this list has subheadings and is separated into the food shop and the things I want to buy shop (this list is always being ticked off otherwise we'd starve).

• Things I want for the house list 

These range from beautiful things for my kitchen to new items for the boudoir. The boudoir (for those not in the know) is the top floor of my house; used to be an office and now houses my collection of shoes, accessories and clothes. (One of the benefits of being single, you get to choose room function).

• The shoes I need list

See above point on collection of shoes for the boudoir. A girl can never have enough shoes.

• The bucket list 

This list is quite important and stupidly has things like GET A TATTOO written on it and CLIMB A MOUNTAIN. Both of which I am supposed to be doing before I am 40. I really need to get going on this list.

• Things I must to today list

Always too long this list. And of course completely unachievable.

• Things I should have done yesterday list

See above note on unachievable.

• The ultimate list

This is the everything list, combines all of the above in a spreadsheet and is often colour coded in priority; depending on my need to avoid ticking anything off the above lists.

Writing lists makes me feel like I have done what I need to do. When I write a list I have achieved.

I know if I did what I was supposed to do, my lists wouldn't take quite so long to write. 

But then; what would I write my lists on?

What happened to me?

The downward spiral

I don't know when it happened. I can't pinpoint the moment. 


I can't even remember when I changed.


One minute there I was obsessively reading high fashion magazines, looking at the clothes I would, may and possibly could purchase for my ever extending wardrobe and then the next I was drawn to house things. 


Things designed to make my house look better - not me. And worse still, things designed to make my house run more efficiently. Not even beautiful things.


Don't get me wrong, I still crave beautiful things for me. My boudoir and shoe collection is testament to that but I am worried about my descent into middle age.


Things I really want start with the following:


- A Utility Room
Instead of having my washer and dryer downstairs in my cellar, I dream of a room dedicated to laundry. WTF! I am screaming at myself. Laundry. A room dedicated to washing. WHAT. HAS. HAPPENED. TO. ME?


- A Larder
Now I don't mean your run of the mill cupboard which you can pull out of the wall and it cunningly displays your tins of nearly out of date tuna, your herb collection from 1996 and the emergency chicken soup just in case of illness. I mean a real larder. A walk in larder. A cupboard where all sorts of interesting things are stashed. My granny had a larder and it was often the first thing me and my sister attacked when we went on a trip to visit the wrinklies (she had proper sugar cubes). AM I TURNING INTO MY GRANNY? A LARDER?


- A Porch
I'm picturing the front door of my dreams, it opens into a wide porch where there is a wellie bootrack like this:
http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/barefootkitchen/product/barefoot-bootloop
There is a range of perfectly arranged coat hooks where the waterproofs, school coats and weekend jackets are hanging in neat rows, perhaps even colour co-ordinated and there is even a hook for school bags. Perhaps there is even room for a small ottoman where picnic rugs and everything that is currently in the boot of my car can be stored.
I realise that the porch of my dreams is also a tardis.


However, my hallway is currently my porch.


Obviously further down the list of wants include beautiful shoes, gorgeous make-up, a ready supply of botox and a personal trainer on tap.


Seriously though what has happened to me? I am concerned. What's next? Bird-watching? The W.I.? A subscription to SAGA?


How have I become that person that wants a utility, in fact not just wants a utility. I crave a utility.


All you people out there, all you people with utility rooms, you don't know how lucky you are...

The Car Park Guardian Angel

The Car Park Guardian Angel

Today I bring you a top tip and a guaranteed way to ensure you always find a car parking space.

It's simple - you just ask the Guardian Angel of Car Parks for help. Oh yes there is one.

There is a theory that if you want something badly enough and you focus on it you can achieve it. (I want that bar of chocolate, I can eat it. I want that bottle of wine, I can drink it.)

I have been working with the Car Park Guardian Angel for a while and she rarely lets me down.

The process is as follows - as you approach the required car park you ask her to find you a space (I always request one near the door). Then more often that not as you swing your car elegantly round the car park without going the wrong way up the ridiculous car park one way system, it will be there winking at you: a free space.

Try it. Today.

I could then say that to say thank you for the car parking space you should all leave your car and do a little jig of joy in the car park. But that would just be plain silly.