Wednesday, 14 March 2012

But mothers lie. It's in the job description.


“But mothers lie. It's in the job description.” 
― John Green 

I have told my children that the one thing that they always have to do is tell the truth. Always.

I have a confession. I lie – I lie all the time and mainly lie just to my children. 

The lies I have told in the last week include:

1.Yes of course it’s 8pm, all the clocks in this house are wrong (this evening's lie at 7.26pm)

2. Yes of course the tooth fairy exists, she takes your tooth in a magic back pack, grinds it down and makes it into fairy dust to grant wishes

3. Yes if it stops raining we’ll go on a bike ride. We’ll see (under breath maybe not)

4. No of course I didn’t steal that fiver from your money box (and of course I didn’t buy wine with it)

5. I’ve spoken to your teacher and she agrees with me (about everything especially my parenting skills)

6. There is no ice-cream left in the shop (because I went in earlier and ate it all)

7. I have no idea where that bar of chocolate went (hides wrapper in knicker drawer)

8. Change your face before I change it for you (never yet have they asked me how I intend to do that)

9. When the burglar alarm sensor flashes it’s Father Christmas watching you (the nearly ten year has possibly cottoned on to this one)

And the best lie I have ever told and keep telling…

10.  If you tell me the truth, I won’t get cross

I’m a convicing liar.

But never ever lie to me. It’s wrong you understand. 

3 comments:

  1. I've used most of these, the ones I haven't I will be using ASAP. The father christmas one is genius

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cheers Andy. Feel free to add new ones. : )

    ReplyDelete
  3. if you dont stop fighting/moaning/being cheeky you're not going to deans, is used on a weekly basis

    ReplyDelete